“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” - Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection, pg. 49.
We know we’re getting healthier as a person when we can start admitting the truth about ourselves—and about our own falseness—aloud, and not only to ourselves but to others.
At first, I was a bit upset, that this blog was a rather judgemental of other writers and bloggers that are attempting to be supportive and spread love and acceptance. However, as I read further I realized they were speaking of truth in a matter of being an addict (drugs, sex, etc). Not to say that there are not a lot of people who are addicted to their work, a certain life style, a person.... I think that everyone has their own path and will learn/reflect upon themselves in their own time and their own way. I get the frustration of doing a lot of work and then realizing that so many others are living in the dark. But the point is there has to be acceptance- if not you end up judging those around you for being who you once were... A bit hypocritical. No one is perfect. All we can do is try our best to become the best version of ourselves. Maybe we will get to find the ultimate truth or maybe we will choose to live whatever lives we decide upon living. At the end of the day we all have a choice. Live in it, bask in it, but at the same time do your best not to judge others for they have walked a different path other than your own. And who knows...maybe they know a truth that you have yet to stumble upon.
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Thank you for the reblog
That is very kind of you.
And I dislike the term “judgmental.” I prefer the term critical thinker or thinking critically, which to my mind is always a very good thing if it is done honestly AND impartially–meaning we’re willing to look at ourselves honestly as well as what we’re criticizing. the term judgmental seems to mean that the judger isn’t willing to look at him or herself, and that may be true. And so that is the real issue–not that the person is judging, but that the person is judging unfairly, unevenly, in a biased fashion.
One of the things that I think this day and age suffers from is from a lack of good sound judgment (or “discernment”). We as a species tend not to be very discerning; we seem to be fairly gullible and naive. And I think much of this has to do with the fact that critical thinking and seeking truth are not encouraged and have fallen out of practice. The practice of seeking truth means at times making judgments about ourselves and about others and about what is and is not worth pursuing or worth our time. To become the best or near-best version of ourselves requires knowing what the not best version of ourselves looks like and talks like and acts like. As Schnarch put it, “Only the best in us can talk about the worst in us; what’s worst in us lies about itself and its own existence.” Definitely something to pause on and ponder for a bit. Behind all of the fog and the masks we wear (the false selves), there is something in us (in most of us? in some of us?) that recognizes truth when it reads it or sees it and rejoices in it and craves it and wants to live in the open from our depths, from our soul. Our soul, our core has to be nurtured and kindled into existence. As Emerson put it: “The one thing in the world of value is the active soul—the soul, free, sovereign, active. This every person is entitled to; this every person contains within him, although in almost everyone it is obstructed, and as yet unborn.”
I’m betting my life that part of what activates the soul is truth—seeking it, recognizing it, discovering it, discussing it, debating it, applying it, living it, seeking others who are also dedicated to it, establishing relationships based on it.
Last point about judging others—sometimes we learn about our own best and worst by seeing it first a distance in others. And then we have to do something that is essential—we have to try our own judgments on ourselves for size and see if we’re projecting and rejecting others for what we ought to be rejecting and correcting in ourselves. The idea being that facing ourselves honestly is one of the most difficult things in life to do. And so observing others (even critically/judgmentally) and seeing their mistakes as well as their victories over what’s not best (or what’s worst) in themselves can teach us a lot about ourselves and what we like need to deal with ourselves as well.
Kindest regards, and thank you for the reblog,
John
Thank you John for your thoughts. I think your response provides futher clarity to your post. Not that it wasn’t worded well, but more as that we all preceive things differently
I agree with your sentiment that sometimes we judge others by seeing things about ourselves that maybe we do not like. I appreciate your candor and I hope others will find it as interesting as I did.