I have had and know several friends who have used/use online resources for dating. In today’s world everything except toilet paper has gone digital! I think because our lifestyles are set to move at such a rapid pace and that we tend to focus on the milestones in life as well as our careers we tend to lose site of the simple joys of dating and courtship. It’s amazing to me how many people whom do meet their partners online or even spouse they tend to be someone that lives in their neighborhood or close proximity of their living space. I am not saying this is always the case, but it does seem to happen quite often more so than one would think. Just imagine if we all took a moment to put down our cell phones we might have actually met the person in real life instead of digitally first. Again, I’m not knocking the service, I’ve known several people whom were so busy that it was the simplest way to put themselves out there without really…putting themselves out there. It’s so much easier to hit the decline button than it is to reject someone in real life. But at the same time I think as a human you are missing out on that experience. I’m not saying that it’s something to look forward to nor to enjoy. But it does help us learn how to handle awkward social situations better than just hitting a button and moving on to the next profile. Also, one thing to be weary about online dating are those that tend to over exaggerate or inflate themselves. Or use the site as a rotating girlfriend/boyfriend tool. Someone can sure look spectacular on screen but when you meet them in real life it’s not even close to what you saw and read on the profile! The thing is unless you are willing to be honest with yourself and others as well as be open then you will never move forward into a significant relationship. You both have to have similiar…not the same…but a common interest or view point to life. It will filter people for you and provide you with the “cream of the crop” to match you interests but if someone is boasting about how they are someone they truly are not then everyone will end up disappointed. If you want success play it smart and with honesty. Be honest with yourself and go off your first inital reactions when answering dating questionarraires. If you do decide to meet someone meet them in a public setting. It really does suck to lose the romantic side of being picked up and taken out…but remember anyone can create a profile and you might not get what you intended. So better to play it safe than sorry. If something feels off or wrong then trust that instinct it’s there for a reason. If you enjoy the date and things go well then be honest and tell them you’d like to meet again. I have never understood drawing out the process and making people wonder….It’s ok if you need the time to process but if you do have a great time then tell the other person that! Some great first date ideas would be the zoo, theme park, beach, basically something that allows the two of you to interact with one another with little distraction. Movies are nice but you basically end up sitting there watching the film instead of engaging with one another. What has been your experience with online dating? Has it been good or bad?
If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com
Related articles
- An Interview with Sam Stieler of DatingAdvice.com (datingwebsites.com)
- Are You Sabotaging Your Online Dating Activity? (thefrisky.com)
- “State of Date” Online Dating Do’s and Dont’s (wnyc.org)
- ONLINE DATING, what’s your best line? (auroramorealist.wordpress.com)
Be supportive and tell her that she deserves to be loved just like everyone else.
Everything seemed normal about him, until the day I switched high schools. At first I noticed I would see his car parked in places where I walk frequently. I immediately was caught off guard, but I later convinced myself I was imagining things. A few months later, I was able to get a better look at who was inside the car; at that point I knew for sure it was him. For months, he would sit in his car; watching me, as I walked past his car to catch the bus everyday. He started appearing at every bus stop I would wait at and then it progressed to him following me to every job that I had. Within that time he was also able to find out where I lived; this went on for a total of 2 years. I kept trying to convince myself, that this will end, and that he will get bored stalking me– he never did. There would be periods where I would not see him (2 to 3 months time frame) then he would start stalking me again. He continued to stalk me the following year, not once making any effort to confront me or “talk”. When i then decided to go to college, he managed to find out the college i ended up attending (he followed my parents as they drove me to the college). Everyday after my classes, he would drive all the way down from our home town, to my college (1hr 30min drive). I was always one step ahead of him, so i pretty much predicted he would show up there. Before he found out the college i attended, i scanned the parking lots and took a guess at which one he most likely would appear at. A few months later i saw his car, sitting in the parking lot (the one i predicted he would be at). Again, I kept trying to convince myself that this will end and that he will stop- he never did. I was so overwhelmed by the stress of him stalking me, that i ended up having panic attacks every time i would walk to my classes. I soon stopped going and ended up withdrawing from the college. I was only in college for a year, but he really messed up my life. I am now having to complete my studies online.
