Falling For an “Unattractive” Man

Well, there’s this guy, he is so in love with me, but he is really not the nicest looking guy. My friends are teasing me over him liking me because of his looks, but I think I am falling for his personality! I dunno what to do, he wants me so bad, but what would you do in this situation?

-On the Fence

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Dear On the Fence,

Love is blind, if you find him interesting and you think he is attractive to you… then that is all that matters. It’s sad to hear that your friends aren’t supporting your happiness and are more caught up in the shallowness of how he “appears” to them. If you do decide to get to know him better maybe they will realize there is more than meets the eye.

 

* If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com. All inquiries shall remain anonymous.

 

Lonely and Depressed…

I’ve just been depressed lately and I feel I just need to get this off my chest. I’m a 16 (nearly 17) year old guy, my dad died when I was around 2, all that is left is my mom and sister, they both care alot about me but they’re both extremely short tempered and order me around which get on my nerves and I feel detached from them most of the time. I had kind of a lonely childhood, I rarely get along with others and was most of the last left out, except elementary/primary 4-6 where I got along with pretty much everyone, I had couple of very close friends, I have no problems at school and it was probably the happiest time of my life.Then I went to high school, everything just dropped, my old friends were all transferred to other schools, I can’t get along with anyone, got in trouble a couple times, it was just hard. My mom asked me a couple times how I felt about the school, I just honestly said I was upset. After the first year she dropped me out of school and said she’ll apply other schools for me but that was it, she never brought it up again, and I never asked as I hated school at that time and my mom wasn’t someone who speaks her mind, I just didn’t wanted to ask. So I stayed home and disconnected from society and social life up until now. I get up, shower, lunch, internet/play games/some housework, shower, dinner, internet, sleep, that pretty much sums up my life these past years. At some point I found some of my old friends in facebook, I contacted to one whom I consider my best friend, he was pretty happy to get in touch again but eventually I stop replying cause I was embarrassed what I am now and I just couldn’t tell the truth I drop out of school all this time. I looked at my other friends facebooks and they have lives ahead them, with lots of friends and have gf/bfs, I just look at myself in the mirror and realize what a loser outcast I am. More and more, I feel my life was just going nowhere, I started to feel lifeless and the world 100 steps ahead of me, it only got worse with my mom getting financial problems that nearly took away everything and she probably couldn’t afford school for me even given the opportunity.

My mom and sister is literally the only people I can to talk to but this is not something I want to share with them, I feel so depressed lately, I lost my appetite and feel tired all the time. I’d very much appreciate if someone is kind enough talk to a hopeless like me and if you have problems too I can hear yours.

-Lonely

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Dear Lonely,

You need to tell you mom that you are feeling down. You definitely are expressing sysmptoms of depression. You have become isolated which have led to these feelings. Can you try and get a job, do you have any interests? Could you start going to a local library or a local place where you could interact with other people? You need to change up your daily routine. It will be a little intimidating at first but as long as you keep going eventually it will get better. If you have already touched base with your best friend back in school you should reach back out to him again, see if he wants to hang out. There is nothing wrong with feeling down you shouldn’t feel ashamed. Everyone experiences some form of depression or feeling low once in a while in thier lives. You aren’t alone

Fall in line or out of place…

I am having a really simple wedding. I want it to look casual and simple. I feel like I am far from a monster bride. I have not asked my bridesmaids to do ANYTHING…like no help, no dress fittings. I bought all of their dresses and said I was more than happy to pay for hair and make up. I bought their shoes and paid for the hotels for all of them for the night before. I am not even wanting or expecting a bachelorette party or shower because I have been married before.One of the FEW things I have asked is for everyone to wear their hair down. I am wearing my hair down and I think a updo would look too formal. One of the bridesmaids has basically told me she doesn’t want to wear her hair down and she intends to pay a professional to give her an elaborate updo. I have tried asking nicely and all I basically got was a “what are you going to do about it?”If I kick her out of the wedding it will create incredible drama with my friends, which I don’t need. But I feel like it’s tacky to have her with a more involved hairstyle than anyone else, including me would have. What would you do?

-Gracious Bride

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Dear Gracious Bride,

Wow, I would love to be a part of your wedding! Most brides don’t have the budget nor the conscience to think of the cost, time, and effort that goes into being a part of the bridal party. You are making this so easy and thoughtful for those involved, it should be reciprocated. I think if I were you I would be straight with her. ” Our friendship means a lot to me and this day is very important, I would really like you to be a part of it. I have something envisioned that I think will make everyone look cohesive and really set the tone for the wedding. I would really appreciate it if you would respect my wishes for this day and go along with the plan” If she says no then you need to decide if it’s worth it or not to fight over. I would think your other friends would support you in this matter seeing how gracious you have been. Maybe they can talk her into it. In the end its your day and all the focus should be on you anyway and most likely it will be. It might make the photos look weird but at the same token years from now you can look back and chuckle about it.

* If you have a question or topic please contact me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

Individualism vs. Relationships

This has been an all too common theme of late within my life as well as those around me. It seems as though love and relationships somehow take over and we lose sight of ourselves within the bigger picture of the relationship. I have had a couple of people who have mentioned getting upset if their partner wants some alone time or wants to go out with friends on their own. This is completely healthy and should be practiced by both people within the relationship. There is nothing wrong with spending time together, but if you are only spending time with each other the relationship is doomed to fizzle out eventually. We are creatures of habit and enjoy our time and space. This practice shouldn’t be tossed out when we fall for someone else. There is nothing wrong with including each other within different friendship circles. But at the same time it is ok to give each other space. It also allows the other persons needs to be met on a different level. Unfortunately contrary to romantic lyrics and thoughts you can’t always be someone’s “everything.” A little diversity spices things up and also leaves room for new topics of conversation. Which truly  is a beautiful thing

* If you have a question of topic please feel free to email me at: honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

How to Apologize to a Friend

I would like to write an apology to a friend and I pretty sure he will not answer the phone if I call him. I was selfish and only thought of myself, assuming we were an item. When he set me straight I was aggressive and ended the friendship without thinking it through. Now I realize that I would rather have him as a friend than not in my life at all. I just don’t think he will trust me again.
-Please Help
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Dear Please Help,

The best apology is one that is sincere and from your heart. You already have most of what you need to say in this question already. Just be open with your thoughts and feelings and no one is perfect. Good friends are those that keep us in check- if this is meant to be then it will be, if not then there is a valuable lesson to be learned from this mistake. Good luck!