Hi Honestgoodadvice,

Alright, how do I ask the hubs to do something I have asked him to do a million times-case and point, “Please place your clothes in the hamper and not everywhere else”!

Help! No matter how I ask or whatever I tone I say with, I get a very cranky answer that I’m being a nag. I’m not-at least I don’t think so.

-Needabreak

Hello Needabreak,

Ah yes, sounds like you’ve got  your hands full! I completely understand and empathize, my husband likes to use his clothing as a rug as well! Some people are just born messy and do not realize that others might be bothered by this. Have you considered trying a different approach? Instead of reminding him that he needs to do something what if instead you said, ” Sweetie (or whatever other term of affection you prefer) I’m absolutely swamped and really could use your help right now. Do you think you could help me pick up the clothes on the floor?” Notice there was no term of “your” clothes or “your” mess. You don’t want to place blame but instead set the tone as a helpful request to your partner. This should be said in a flat even tone. If you don’t put emotion in the request it will make it difficult for the response to be emotional. Also, I have to ask, was this person messy before you met them? If so, this will be a life long struggle. Either raise your flag and enjoy swimming in the lake of clothing or continue to remain patient and accept that your husband may be a messy person for life.

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