Okay. My ex decided that we should walk away from each other and we’d both be better off without each other. I had trust issues from the last relationship, I know it’s unnacceptable ect. but I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.

We kept talking afterwards as neither of us wanted this. Some guy kept appearing all over her facebook as soon as we broke up, and she was calling him things like ‘husband’. Anyway my issues came again and accused her of cheating. This really flipped her off. Again, this is where I learned my lesson. Told me not to call or text again.

A week later she texts me see as she knew I was at the same gig. Kept telling me to come and see her, so I did. Said Hi and that was it, I didn’t want to make a scene.

She unfriended me on facebook but later sent a text saying ‘sorry, I can’t move on if you’re on my facebook’

I tried the whole I love you, miss you, wanna carry on thing but all she said was ‘I don’t think we could ever go back to the way we were at the start’ so I’ve shut down now.

She’s been talking about giving stuff back to each other since the start of the break up. I told her we need to do it, as I feel I can’t move on until it’s done, baggage etc.

Everytime we organise to give things back she always has an excuse why she can’t. It’s really annoying me now and I’m begininng to hate her for it. I just want to get it done with so I don’t have to text her or call her again!

Yesterday was the 8th excuse. I told her I can drop it off while she’s at work or something but she doesn’t want to do it that way.

I also told her to forget about my stuff at one point, lets just move on. She sent a text back saying I’m childish, pathetic and immature. Later she went on about how much she wants a certain dvd back. Surely she is the pathetic one there? Also these texts aren’t really conversations anymore, just about when each other is free, about 3 or 4 every 2 or 3 days.

The relationship is over and done with, she’s made that clear by telling me it’s over. What can I do to give things back? And don’t just say block communication. I’m a decent guy and if she wants her stuff back she can have it, unless she tells me otherwise.

Thanks for your answer 🙂 I’m pretty messed up with having to contact each other with this, I don’t want to say anything wrong. Just looking for advice on how to do this, obviously I still have feelings for her.

J

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Hello J,

First and foremost, we all have some form of baggage and there are a lot of people in this world that have trust issues. So no need to apologize for being this way, instead look at this as a life lesson, spend some time reflecting how it fell apart and what you personally could have done better. This way for the next person you will have a better understanding of yourself and will know how to apply this lesson to real life experience. Also, be patient with yourself love can be hard to get over sometimes!

As for the items, is there anything that she has at this point that cannot be replaced? And/or holds no personal/sentimental value to you other than related to your relationship? If not wipe your hands clean and tell her she can keep everything. If there is something that means a lot to you because a good friend or a family member gave it to you then she should definitely give it back.  If she wants the dvd leave it on her front door step.  It isn’t fair to drag this out for either one of you. It’s time to move on and wipe the slate clean!

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