My brother and I fight a lot and I hate it. I really do. I’m 14 and he will be 16 in a few months. When I see other siblings that are really close and have fun together, I get really jealous, wishing that it could be that way with my brother and I. Many times he says nasty things to me that makes me feel really insecure. Sometimes he even gets physical..but not very often. I’m much smaller than he is and he doesn’t realize that he can really injure me. When I confronted him about in last summer, he said the only reason why he picks on me is because I do the same to him. And I can admit to that but I really have tried not insulting him. He still treated me the same saying i was “ugly” or “annoying”. He always says how bad a sister I am for not doing anything for him. I try being nice to him and make him breakfast occasionally but he says the only reason why I make him breakfast is so that I can make him feel guilty. All I want is for us to be close but when I try to be nice, he says “you’re only being nice so you an bring it up in an argument later”. I don’t want us to fight over silly, childish things. And I want him to know that I will always be there for him if he needs me. But I feel like he doesn’t want me apart of his life when we grow older and move out. What can I do to better our relationship? Thanks.
The brother and sister relationship dynamic has always been one that I find interesting. For myself personally growing up my older brother always picked on me and we were never really that close. However, not as adults we have a much better relationship. My husband and his sister on the other hand have always been close. I think it just depends on our personalities and our home life. I would continue to be nice and maybe even ask him if he wants to go see a movie or do something that you both enjoy. If he doesn’t come around just yet that’s ok he might just need time. You both at a stage in your life where there is a lot of growth and change occuring. Sometimes space and time apart helps with this these. Don’t stress too much over this one 🙂 It will work itself out in time.