First of all I am 31 and she is 29. I started dating my friend the last 4 months and we always had an amazing friendship. we would always joke around about getting married and having kids. she would do it a lot to the point that i didn’t know if she liked me or not. little by little  I started having a crush on her and told her how I felt towards her and we decided to start dating. months later I learned that she never saw me like more than a friends. this is something she said. I was devastated because here I am thinking she felt the same from the start and she didn’t.

I can honestly say im guilty at the fact she ended things between us. I am a very affectionate person and she is not. she is very reserved when it comes to showing how she feels and I felt so weird. I felt I had no need to tell her to be more affectionate with me but I did. so finally last monday she sent me a text saying she couldn’t do it no more. because no matter what she felt she was not good enough for me because she couldn’t offer the affection I needed. I was devastated that she gave up on me on us. it was sad because she was just not another girl she was a dear friend for the last 4 years. On Tuesday she sent me another text saying she didn’t want to give up on me and my reply was: you can’t do this to people you can’t tell them you don’t want to be with them and then tell them you don’t want to lose them.

Thursday I get another text from her asking what I would do different if we could continue dating? And my reply was that I would not doubt where her heart is and wouldn’t push her to be more affectionate. that she is just simply more reserved when it comes to that.

Today is Sunday and I havent heard from her…. it feels that she is just dragging me along because she doesn’t know what to do. I don’t want to call her and ask her if she made a decision already because i know her and she will probably say that she has a life and that she was been busy.

I just feel that if she cares about me she wouldn’t be putting me off like if im just another option and that she will contact me when she is not going to bars or clubs with her friends.

I care about her a lot but I also have dignity and im not sure if I can keep this up. I shouldn’t be just another option if she wants this to work but I honestly feel like she will talk to me whenever she is not out or just bored. I don’t know what to do.

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Sometimes friends are better as friends and sometimes it’s the perfect fit. I think you both need space and to figure out what is really is that you want in someone else relationship wise. People receive/perceive affection/love differently for some it might be words of affirmation, physical gifts, etc. This has the potential to work you both just need to find and willing to word towards balance. I would tell her that first you don’t want to lose your friendship. And that you do truly care for her and want what is best for each of you. That you are willing/or not willing to try again. Just be honest with your feelings if it’s meant to be it will be.
*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com
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