I am ending a longterm relationship w/ kids, how would you handle these manipulative guilt trips in a thoughtful way? I’m breaking up w my guy of 7 yrs. Our whole relationship he’s been caught cheating & lying.I put up with a lot of crap i shouldnt have cuz we were both VERY young and i was madly in love.And he’s a very good liar.The last & final straw was when i recently found out he is still sleeping with a girl coworker, and has been for close to 2 yrs.not just a sex thing thing a whole relationship.He was totally living a double life.They given me STDs a while ago and recently had a pregnancy scare. Anyways he’s been caught and I’m done for good. He is begging for millionth chance w me to be faithful ,while telling her he’s moved out from me.what makes it hard is that we have 1 child together 2 are mine(but he is the only Dad they know)and he can’t move out til this months end. Meanwhile he’s sleeping on the couch and goes back & forth from being excessively rude to me throwing things around to trying to hug me have sex etc. He keeps saying Nonstop ‘You wanted this to happen’,’You’ve never loved me”, ‘How can you do this to our family’,’Why cant we work this out’,’I cant believe you won’t try and go to counselling’,’our kids need two parents and you won’t even try’, and the list goes on and on. I know it’s all a load of crap but it infuriates me,and I’m trying so hard to stay levelheaded and rational.WHAT DO I SAY TO THESE COMMENTS.( Keep in mind the kids are usually around. I need some tips on dealing with him until he moves on)

He sounds like someone who has control issues. Sometimes when people are caught in something they feel the only way to get out is to place blame on everyone else instead of admitting to their faults. As for what to say you don’t really owe him a response. You’ve given him 7 years of your life and hoped for the best in this person. That’s a lot more than most would give. It’s time to release and move on. You will still have to deal with him to some degree because of the kids, but since the relationship has no foundation of trust there is no since in prolonging it further. If you really feel that you need to respond then I would recommend two things. Write him an email/letter being completely honest with you feelings and give it to him. Write him an email/letter being completely honest with you feelings and then destroy it. In doing either of things you are releasing your thoughts and feelings which will provide you closure. If you choose to give it to him maybe it will help him in the future to learn a lesson, maybe not. If you choose not to and sometimes this is a good option too at least you are able to let everything go. The choice to share your thoughts and feelings with this person is totally up to your discretion. Sometimes it makes a difference and sometimes and falls on deaf ears. You will move forward and get through this- there is a lesson to be learned and it looks like you are beginning to see a path that leads to a bright future.
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