When my brother was little, our dad use to abuse him when our mother wasn’t around and my brother never told her because she had problems with cancer on and off throughout the years any my brother didnt want to upset her. When he was sixteen, my mother had me and a year later she died. Not wanting to leave me with our father who still had been abusing my brother, my brother moved out with me when he was seventeen and fought hard to get an education for himself while raising me. Two years ago he married a woman who he fell deeply in love with and they had a one year old daughter but about a week ago they were both killed in a car accident. My brother has since been staying with me but he hasnt left his bed since the night that it happened. I cant get him to talk to me let alone eat or drink anything and Im afraid that all this pain has drove him over the edge. He’s been taking sedatives that a doctore gave him the night that he found out they died and he still usually sleeps but Im afraid he might try to kill himself if something isnt done. My big brother is the closest thing to a parent that I have ever had and I want so much to help him. He’s jsut been frozen and emotionless for the last few days and I dont want to take him to the hospital because all theyll do is drug him up and stare at him. He needs to be in a place where he feels loved and I just cant get through to him on how much he means to me. I really dont want to end up losing him too. I’ve already heard several people say that I should help him find another girl but he’s in no condition to start dating a week after his wife and child died. Especially with how he’s been taking it on top of everything else he’s already been through. Please tell me what I should do. Thanks

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You have every right to be worried and concerned about your brother. The best thing you can is return the favor- it’s time for you to start taking care of your brother. He has suffered some major loss in the past and very recently. Is there anyway you could find a local grief counselor? It will take some time and unfortunately the timeline is different for everyone- but he can move past this. Just listen when he talks, hug him when he crys, and tell him that you love him often. In time you might have to convince him to leave the house and get outside. You just need to remind him that you are here for him and that all is not completely lost. It will be a long and painful road but just stay strong for him.

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

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