How can I stop being selfish? My husband and I recently got married. We are both in our mid 20s and have been together for about 3 years. We had a huge argument recently. He called me selfish because I failed to take left over food for him from our wedding that the caterer left. I guess I was just flustered trying to help clean up the hall where our wedding was and didn’t really think to pack food for him although I did take some left over fish for myself even though he doesn’t really like fish. He has called me selfish quite a few times throughout our relationship. I do most of his laundry and do most of the cleaning in our house. I usually agree to go to the movies he wants to see. I also watch the tv shows that he wants to watch and go to the restaurants he wants to go to. I don’t drive so I usually take the bus. Sometimes he drives me places I need to go to but sometimes he gets upset when I ask him for a ride because he says whatever I’m doing has nothing to do with him so why should he have to drive me. I always say thank you when he does. He buys me flowers sometimes which is sweet of him but I guess I don’t really buy him little gifts just because I don’t know what to get him. I want to be good wife so how can I be less selfish?

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I’m only getting one side of the story, however it sounds like he has a guilty conscience. Just because you weren’t thinking of him every waking moment does not make you selfish. It sounds to me you go above and beyond to be very accomodating to his wants and needs. Are there things that you want and need? And if you were to partake would he still call you selfish even it brought you happiness? If so then there is a major misunderstanding or miscommunication. I would recommend sitting down with your husband and expressing your feelings. If he doesn’t respect you enough to even do that then you have an even bigger issue on your hands. I would try to speak with him, if this doesn’t work I would recommend counseling. There is more to this and you both need to find common ground.

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