My wife and I have been together 3 years, married for one.  She has a 25 year old daughter who refuses to be responsible for herself. She holds a full-time job, but doesn’t make enough to support herself.  She now has a one year old of her own from a non-supportive, non-involved donor. My wife has been paying $500/month rent, cell phone and car insurance for the daughter, with no end in sight.  Her daughter recently got her license back from a DUI, ( $750 we paid to the Lawyer) but is facing two pending  cases of driving while her license was suspended. The daughter has recently taken two alcohol-infused weekends at the beach, which (the way I see it) we paid for.  Lawyer fees, court fees and fines… guess who will pay that? Stop the madness!   She will not cut her daughter’s support off, nor make her responsible for her own mistakes!   I have thought of Family or marriage counsel, but I feel my wife will just continue to support the daughter.   Any ideas?

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You need to sit down and discuss this with your wife. And I think it very wise of you both to seek counsel. There comes a point in our lives where we have to let our loved ones learn from their own mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. Unfortunately, this is tough love. What your wife is doing isn’t healthy for herself, your marriage nor for the future of your daughter and grand daughter. The main concern here should be the child (grandchild) who unfortunately is the innocent victim of these circumstances. Your wife needs counseling. She thinks that she is being loving and nuturing when in reality she is just making the situation worse. I would be honest with your feelings, she won’t like what she hears but ultimately it is the truth and the behavior needs to be corrected.

*If you have a question and would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmai.com

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