Archive for July, 2012


Hello Everyone!

I apologize for being behind I have  tad bit going on over here lol. Anyway, I wanted to share with you that I will be on a podcast with a dear friend Daniel Garza called Put It Together a podcast that interviews with various people and their lives and spiritual journeys. The podcast will be up tomorrow August 1st. Daniel interviewed me about my thoughts about military life, it’s challenges, it’s benefits and how to survive the lifestyle. I have to apologize now, my pups made a few appearances 😉 so if you hear paws clicking in the background those are just my fur babies =) If you would like to listen in you can go here: http://putittogetherpodcast.blogspot.com/

*If you have  question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

8/1/2012

Here is the link to today’s show http://abnormalentertainment.blogspot.com/2012/08/put-it-together-episode-28-stand-proud.html

I love yoga however sometimes when I see a Groupon or coupon for a certain type I generally have to Google to figure out what it’s all about. Here is a helpful list that I found from www.mindbodygreen.com. I hope you find it as helpful as I did! Enjoy!

Types of YogaThere are many different types of yoga to practice, so it’s important to find out which type of yoga is right for you. Here’s a quick introduction to some of the most common and popular types of yoga:

Bikram Yoga – Get ready to practice yoga in 105 degree heat and in 40% humidity — hot! Though Bikram only has 26 poses and there’s lots of alignment work so it might be a good fit for beginners. More>>

Hatha Yoga –  Class is also likely to be focused on slow and gentle movements so it’s a great type of yoga to wind down with at night. More>>

Vinyasa Yoga – Commonly called “Vinyasa flow” or just “flow”, you’ll definitely be moving, flowing from one pose to the next. Other than starting with a sun salutation, no two classes will be alike. It’s the most popular style of yoga in America. More>>

Kundalini Yoga – “Kundalini” refers to the energy of the Root Chakra, which surrounds the area around your lower spine. Expect lots of work in your “core” area and classes are known to be pretty intense.  More>>

Ashtanga Yoga – Commonly called Power yoga, Ashtanga is definitely physically demanding. It’s probably best suited for an ex-athlete or someone looking to really push their body. More>>

Iyengar Yoga – Expect lots of props with this type of yoga such as blocks, harnesses, straps, and even cushions. There’s also a lot of focus on alignment so Iyengar can be great for physical therapy. More>>

Anusara Yoga – Founded in 1997 by John Friend, Anusara is epitomized by “the celebration of the heart. Expect many “heart-opening” poses like backbends and more talking by the instructor in class. More>>

Restorative Yoga – Looking to wind down after a long day of work? Or perhaps you want to quiet your mind? Restorative yoga might be the answer as it’s focused on relaxation. More>>

Jivamukti Yoga – Jivamukti is mostly practiced in NYC as it was founded there in 1984 by Sharon Gannon and David Life. It’s a mix of vinyasa flow sequencing infused with chanting and a vegetarian twist. More>>

Prenatal Yoga – If you’re an expectant mother then Prenatal yoga is probably for you. (Sorry, guys!) Some say that Prenatal is one of the best types of exercise for moms-to-be as there’s a lot of core work and a focus on breathing. More>>

Have you found a type of yoga that might be a fit for you? Before you head to class, check out our Yoga Poses for Beginners library to become familiar with some of the most common poses.

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

How to Start Overcoming Fear, Right Now

1. Awareness. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to know that they are causing havoc in your life. It’s easy to get so attached to your thoughts and feelings that you think they are all that exist, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

2. Identify. Get specific about what exactly you’re afraid of. Look at the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? Become an observer of your inner space.

 

3. Curiosity. While curiosity may have killed the cat, it certainly won’t do you any harm when investigating your fears. Get curious about what thoughts generate your fear, where do you feel the fear, and how do you react to it? Again, be an observer of what is going on.

4. The Now. What are you lacking right now? When you center yourself in the now, you realize that everything is how it is. You naturally accept what is. Tapping into the now can be as simple as feeling your body and breath. My favorite book on the subject is Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

5. EFT. EFT is short for Emotional Freedom Techniques. You use your fingertips to tap meridian points on your body while thinking of a fear you have and it alleviates and sometimes gets rid of the fear altogether. Simple, yet extremely powerful.

6. Sedona Method. Another simple system to overcoming fear is the Sedona method. It consists of asking a few simple questions while focusing on your fear. It’s so simple that I dismissed it several times before taking it seriously. Bad move!

7. The Work. The Work is very similar to the Sedona method in that it asks questions. The Work is one of my favorite ways of overcoming fears, anxieties, and worries. If you go for nothing else on this list, go for The Work. It will rock your world, if you let it ;)

8. Hypnosis. With hypnosis, you can program the right thoughts into your mind and eliminate negative beliefs. This doesn’t work for everyone, but it might for you. My brother uses it to consistently evoke positive change in his life.

9. Gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, switch it over to what you are grateful for instead. If you’re afraid of public speaking, be grateful for the opportunity to communicate with so many people, and that they are there to genuinely listen to what you have to say.

10. Journaling. Getting your fears down on paper is important, because trying to think them through never works. You get caught in endless loops of negativity that only lead you further down the rabbit hole, and make your life miserable.

11. Talk. No-brainer advice, but how often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react, or because of some other reason? Talking helps, but don’t throw a pity party for yourself.

12. Therapy. If you can find a good therapist, therapy can be highly beneficial, even life-changing. Finding the right therapist for you can be hard. Listen to your heart and choose someone who resonates with you.

13. NLP. NLP is short for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I’ve been to a seminar with the co-founder, Richard Bandler. You learn how your mind works. In my experience, I’ve found The Work to be much more powerful for me personally, but I know that NLP has helped thousands in eliminating phobias, fears, and other emotional problems.

14. Life Coach. Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure? A good life coach can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from. I’ve spoken to a few in my life and while it can be scary, it’s very helpful in getting clear about what you want and what’s stopping you.

15. Read. Reading a good book on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I also like to read a lot of motivational and inspirational work on and around the topic I’m dealing with.

16. Take Action. I’m an action taker, and I know that fears are just fears. They are created by your imagination to make reality seem scarier than it is. When you take action and face your fears, they become weaker, because you realize that reality isn’t nearly as bad as your imagination.

17. Watch. Watching a movie or a documentary can be as enlightening as reading a book. Sometimes it’s nice to distract yourself from your fear, but if you really want to, you can find dozens of movies on the fear you’re dealing with.

18. Diet. Did you know that the food you eat can have a dramatic impact on how you feel? All the sugars, additives, sweeteners, and other chemicals in our foods have a surprisingly powerful effect in getting our body out of balance. Stick to a clean diet that suits you.

19. Positivity. Whenever fear strikes, flip it over. Instead of thinking of something bad that can happen, think of something positive. What’s a positive outcome to your fear? If you’re thinking about public speaking, imagine yourself being wildly successful instead of failing horribly. This is very similar to #9, but with a small twist.

20. Perspective. Overcoming fear is all about putting your negative thoughts in perspective. We tend to focus too much on the negative, so by looking at all the options, you often realize that you’re making a big deal of nothing. There are so many things that can happen that it’s impossible for you to predict. We aren’t psychics.

21. Surrender. Surrendering to what is is powerful, because as long as we try to change what is, we are in war with reality. To learn more about how to surrender to what is, I recommend you read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. It’s the book on The Work I mentioned earlier. I personally love it.

22. Your Story. We all tell ourselves a story about our fear. If I’m afraid that no one will like my writing, I tell myself a story (in my head) about how I’ll fail horribly, people will laugh at me, or even worse, no one will read what I have to say. What’s your story?

23. Release Control. We want control and predictability, even though it’s impossible to get. Where we don’t have control, we experience fear. But is it possible to ever have control? Even if you can swim, you can drown. A professional guitar player can still make mistakes and butcher a gig. Give up the illusion of control, and you’re free.

24. Help. Be kind to others. If you’re shy, focus on helping people instead of being self-conscious about how you look or sound when you talk. Flip it on other people and make yourself feel good. This is very similar to #16.

25. Meaning. I believe we all go through things for a reason. That includes the fears we have. It also includes overcoming fear and learning the lessons that come out of it. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but when I look back at the challenges and fears in my life, I see that more often than not, they delivered exactly the message I needed at that time.

26. Model. I’m not talking about modeling clothes here. I’m talking about finding someone who had the fear you have, but managed to get rid of it. Get in touch with them, ask them how they did it, and learn to use their strategies in your own life.

27. Pray. I’m not religious, but if you are, you may want to consider praying for guidance on how to start overcoming your specific fear. Prayer is very similar to meditation. In the end, it doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as it works for you.

28. WTWTCH. What’s the worst that could happen? If you’re afraid of public speaking, imagine yourself on a stage with everyone laughing at you. How do you feel afterward? You’re still alive, aren’t you? Life goes on.

29. Yoga. Energy can get trapped in your body. When you do Yoga and breathe, that energy can be released. Sometimes you release parts of your fears, or you might even find that you’ve dropped a few fears without even noticing after a few months of Yoga.

30. Ask. Your feelings are there to tell you something, ask what the purpose of them is. Ask your heart, God, the universe, or whatever you feel comfortable with. What are your fears trying to tell you?

31. Understand Failure. When you realize that failure is not the end of the world, you become free. Failure is just a stepping stone to success. And most of our fears are fear of failure, shame, or somehow not living up to the standards society has put up for us.

32. Explore Your Roots. What is the root of your fear? This may require some meditation. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started. If you’re afraid of public failure for example, when did it happen? Where you shamed in public when you were younger?

33. Breathe. Your breath can set you free. It can anchor you in the now and help you vanquish and overcome your most pervasive fears. I saved it for last, because it’s one of the simplest and most powerful ways of overcoming fear.

 

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

Ten Steps to a Successful Career Change from

1. Evaluate your current job satisfaction. Keep a journal of your daily reactions to your job situation and look for recurring themes. Which aspects of your current job do you like/dislike? Are your dissatisfactions related to the content of your work your company culture or the people with whom you work?

2. Assess your interests, values and skills through self help resources like the exercises in What Color is Your Parachute. Review past successful roles, volunteer work, projects and jobs to identify preferred activities and skills. Determine whether your core values and skills are addressed through your current career.

3. Brainstorm ideas for career alternatives by discussing your core values/skills with friends, family, networking contacts and counselors. Visit career libraries and use online resources like those found in the Career Advicesection of the Job Search website.

4. Conduct a preliminary comparative evaluation  of several fields to identify a few targets for in depth research.

5. Read as much as you can about those fields and reach out to personal contacts in those arenas for informational interviews.

6. Shadow professionalsin fields of primary interest to observe work first hand. Spend anywhere from a few hours to a few days job shadowing people who have jobs that interest you. Your college Career Office is a good place to find alumni volunteers who are willing to host job shadowers.

7. Identify volunteer and freelance activities related to your target field to test your interest e.g. if you are thinking of publishing as a career, try editing the PTA newsletter.  If you’re interested in working with animals, volunteer at your local shelter.

8. Investigate educational opportunities that would bridge your background to your new field. Consider taking an evening course at a local college.  Spend some time at one day or weekend seminars. Contact professional groups in your target field for suggestions.

9.  Look for ways to develop new skills in your current job which would pave the way for a change e.g. offer to write a grant proposal if grant writing is valued in your new field. If your company offers in-house training, sign up for as many classes as you can.

10. Consider alternative roles within your current industry which would utilize the industry knowledge you already have e.g. If you are a store manger for a large retail chain and have grown tired of the evening and weekend hours consider a move to corporate recruiting within the retail industry. Or if you are a programmer who doesn’t want to program, consider technical sales or project management.

 

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

I am seeing my 13 year old after 5 years. (The mother took her overseas and reprogrammed her)? My daughter and I have just connected over the phone and she is very genuine and looks forward to seeing me soon.  The mother just got remarried. I am overwhelmed with emotions I don’t know what to say to her?

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If she is excited to see you then it sounds like your ex couldn’t have “reprogrammed” her as much as you might think. Tell her the truth that you’ve missed her dearly and that you love her very much. Once you set something up to meet with her, ask her what her favorite food is, take her to an age appropriate movie, go bowling. Try do activities that you think she might enjoy but also allow you the time to talk with her and get to know her better. Also it’s ok to be nervous and to even be honest with your feelings with her (as long as they are about you and her and not how upset you are about your ex/her mother) It’s about your relationship with her not about bashing her mom. Just focus on getting to know her better and enjoying your time with her 🙂

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

I have been dating this man off and on for around 3 years. I am absolutely in love with him, and I know he loves me dearly too. We were there for each other when no else was there for us. He is an amazing boyfriend and treats me very well. I love him, and it is now getting to the point where we are considering marriage.

He has already bought the ring after 6 months of us talking. I feel like he might be uncertain about a lot of things, but I do not really have the time to wait because I want to go into the military so they will help me pay for law school. I do not want to pressure him or give him an ultimatum because I love him and want him to do it on his own, but he is still lingering on our differences in religion (this is the reason why we have broke up, but we worked it out and now he bringing it up again), and he is always saying he wants to get married, but he is always creating another excuse like money issues or other problems. I do not think he is ready, but I cannot stick around waiting for him to propose.

My family and friends say he will feel differently once I am in the military, but at the same time I do not think it is fair that I accept his proposal because he wants me to himself the whole year we are apart before we can marry. Do not get me wrong, I love him with all of my heart, but I cannot help but feel like he will propose just cause he does not want me to meet other guys.

I am meeting with my recruiter in about a week and going to MEPS for my physical examination. In a couple of days afterwards I will either pick a job and swear in or I will be in DEP for some time. What do you guys think I should do? I am not going to tell him when I swear in, but do you think I should tell him that when I swear in there will not be that option to be with me anymore? I hate doing that, and I do not want to seem like the awful girlfriend that does this to her boyfriend, but I think that he believes that he can have me whenever he feels like which is wrong. Once again, he is a very good boyfriend. I am not trying to make him look like a villain, and I am not trying to make myself look like one either, but he does not seem like he is ready for the next step really, and I have to move on with my life. It will be very hard, but I want to do something awesome with my life.

And please, mature comments only.

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Sometimes we let our fear of being alone get the best of us or potentially the fear of the unknown which leaves us uncertain about our future. If joining the military is something that you feel is right for you and will provide you with a positive experience then go for it. I have to forewarn you however that (am a military wife) joining the military just to receive educational benefits in my opinion is not enough. It sounds peachy and all but at the end of the day you become government property, you potentially could see the dark side of humanity, the political bs of the world first hand, and will be putting yourself at harms way. I would recommend speaking with a few more people who are serving or have once served and ask them what their experiences have been like- some are so bad they don’t talk about it at all. As for your boyfriend if he loves you he will wait for you and vice versa. I don’t think it wise to rush something if one of you is unsure. If you feel that you need to focus on your life then do so. If something is meant to be it will be. However, you should not sacrifice your life to wait for someone else to make up their mind. If anything move forward, without dishonesty and tell him what you are planning on doing with in regards to signing up for the military. You shouldn’t keep information from the ones you love, a relationship should be based on honesty regardless of fear of outcome. If you aren’t ready then tell him that. Speak from your heart, if you end up taking a break all is not lost. It may provide you both the space, time, and clarity to really think about what you want in your lives as well as in a partner. And there is nothing wrong with really thinking about what you want and taking your time. However if you wish to take the time to yourself he should respect that as should you for him if he needs more time to really think about his life. Don’t stress so much on the timeline of things, but more so on the path that you are taking.

I have always been a fan of the combo lemons and water 🙂 Here is just another reason why it’s good for your soul and your health 🙂

 

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

My husband and I have been together 10 years. We have 3 children. We have a very healthy and satisfying sex life. About a year ago I discovered a porn video case under a dresser and it was about transsexuals. The actual DVD was missing. I confronted my husband very calmly and told him I’d never judge him, but I needed to know the truth. He claimed he found the case behind the water heater. We were currently living in a temporary rental house that had many previous renters and had some other people’s odds and ends in it that had been left behind. I’ve never ever had any reason to think he was attracted to men. My husband has a fraternal twin brother who is in fact gay, and they don’t get along at all. The gay brother is actually my best friend and we go out alot together, but my husband can’t stand it and is vehemently against homosexuality. Anyway, so I chose to trust him and move on. Then today I was using my husband’s phone to look up something on the internet and “gay porn” and “homosexual pictures” showed up in the search box. So I checked the history and found that a number of porn videos about homosexual men, as well as videos about straight sex and some with just women. I was completely shocked. I don’t mind the porn, I’ve known he watches it forever and I’m secure enough in myself to not be bothered by it. But the gay stuff?? I’m just confused. I confronted him again and was very non accusing. I just asked him to please explain what was going on. At first he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about, but when I pressed him further he went berserk and said he clicked on accident although he clearly typed those things in the search box. When I said that he got his phone and threw it against the wall. Then slammed through the house calling me names, saying he can’t believe I’d even ask him that question etc etc. Then he sat on the couch and started watching TV and wouldn’t talk or look at me for the rest of the day.

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Facing our fears is scary and overwhelming, sometimes people find it easier to avoid them all together. I think your husband loves you however it sounds like he is curious or may have interest in men. The thing with this is most people who are in denial beat themselves up or refuse to admit that they prefer the other or both sexes. Maybe he saw some negative feedback for his brother growing up and fears that in him. Generally when we find something in someone else that we find repulsive it’s because we in turn have the capability of being the same way. I think the question you need to ask yourself is are you ok with his denial? And if not then that’s ok, and if so, then you need to be honest and tell him I love you regardless of what you prefer. And leave it at that. Subconsciously he will know that he is doesn’t have to hide from you.

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

My mom asked me if I thought it was normal to find another companion at her age, or if she should just settle. She been alone since she was 30 so she’s used to it, and I didn’t really know what to tell her.

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Love has no age limit, nor boundaries. If she is ready and willing to be patient it will be worth her 20 years of waiting 🙂 Be supportive and tell her that she deserves to be loved just like everyone else.

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

I’m Going to Lose My Home

I am 71 years and under water with my home a bunch, Just had a heart attack and cannot work. I have enough savings and Social Security to keep my house going for about 3 more years and then I will be tapped out. Bank will not restructure. I’ve got my mortgage interest down to 4%. I am so tempted to walk away from this home. My credit cards (I owe 2 grand) are all current and I have no outstanding bills. If I walk away on my home, what happens to the rest of my good credit? Who is going to bail me out? I am just sick to my stomach I could puke.

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I do not have the wise years that you have obtained. However I unfortunately had to walk away from a home that I owned in FL. I was “lucky” enough to have been with Countrywide in 2008…Oh yeah I am “one of those people” There are a lot of us then most are willing to admit. I wrote a letter to CW telling them I couldn’t afford the payments any longer and wanted to see if we could restructure. I kept all copies and sent it certified to know it went through. It took a lot of work and some help from an attorney but I was able to avoid foreclosure and settle through a short sale. It was stressful and scary. I can empathize with you there. I had a 800 credit score. It’s been about 4 years now, my credit is better, not the same level it once was but I can still get a line of credit for a reasonable rate. I think you should figure out if renting would be cheaper than your mortgage? If so then let it go, you can’t take it with you. And if it’s not then stay put. Ask friends or relatives to help, or even see about getting a room mate (Do a background check etc) As for the cc, what is your total credit line. I have been told the best way to keep your credit up is to carry a 15% or less balance of the total credit line. For example, if I have a credit limit of $1000, then I should carry no more than $150. If it’s over that you run the chance of paying more in interest and it can effect your credit negatively. Closing a cc account will also affect your credit negatively….Odd I know. Anyway, if you have a high interest rate check to see if you have any 0% interest or lower interest offers than what you currently carry. If so pay the 3% balance transfer fee and start paying stuff down. The average American carries more than $10,000 in cc debt- you are actually at a really good point in that retrospect. I hope this helps! Good luck

*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com