Tag Archive: facebook


Online Dating-Good or Bad?

I have had and know several friends who have used/use online resources for dating. In today’s world everything except toilet paper has gone digital! I think because our lifestyles are set to move at such a rapid pace and that we tend to focus on the milestones in life as well as our careers we tend to lose site of the simple joys of dating and courtship. It’s amazing to me how many people whom do meet their partners online or even spouse they tend to be someone that lives in their neighborhood or close proximity of their living space. I am not saying this is always the case, but it does seem to happen quite often more so than one would think. Just imagine if we all took a moment to put down our cell phones we might have actually met the person in real life instead of digitally first. Again, I’m not knocking the service, I’ve known several people whom were so busy that it was the simplest way to put themselves out there without really…putting themselves out there. It’s so much easier to hit the decline button than it is to reject someone in real life. But at the same time I think as a human you are missing out on that experience. I’m not saying that it’s something to look forward to nor to enjoy. But it does help us learn how to handle awkward social situations better than just hitting a button and moving on to the next profile. Also, one thing to be weary about online dating are those that tend to over exaggerate or inflate themselves. Or use the site as a rotating girlfriend/boyfriend tool. Someone can sure look spectacular on screen but when you meet them in real life it’s not even close to what you saw and read on the profile! The thing is unless you are willing to be honest with yourself and others as well as be open then you will never move forward into a significant relationship. You both have to have similiar…not the same…but a common interest or view point to life. It will filter people for you and provide you with the “cream of the crop” to match you interests but if someone is boasting about how they are someone they truly are not then everyone will end up disappointed. If you want success play it smart and with honesty. Be honest with yourself and go off your first inital reactions when answering dating  questionarraires.  If you do decide to meet someone meet them in a public setting. It really does suck to lose the romantic side of being picked up and taken out…but remember anyone can create a profile and you might not get what you intended. So better to play it safe than sorry. If something feels off or wrong then trust that instinct it’s there for a reason. If you enjoy the date and things go well then be honest and tell them you’d like to meet again. I have never understood drawing out the process and making people wonder….It’s ok if you need the time to process but if you do have a great time then tell the other person that! Some great first date ideas would be the zoo, theme park, beach, basically something that allows the two of you to interact with one another with little distraction. Movies are nice but you basically end up sitting there watching the film instead of engaging with one another. What has been your experience with online dating? Has it been good or bad?

 

If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

 

Feeling Underappreciated

My bf and I are at that point in a relationship where you have that one big thing that kinda makes you question your relationship. But we’re working it out. I am trying to make changes that he asked me for and etc. I threw him a picnic, we’ve worked out together and got along fine, etc. Today is his bday and I have a important long shoot going on this week and he knows it. He didnt wish me luck or say anything to me. As soon as I got off work (early) I waited even though i was tired til almost twelve to wish him a happy bday, I texted him telling him I have something planned (I bought him a signed basketball), and I said “happy birthday babe” on his fb wall.
He deleted me off his facebook along with the comment. He was up that night and didnt say thank you to me like he did to everyone else on facebook. He hasnt responded to my text or call. The reason why I did all of that is because he always gets mad when I dont call or text him often. I am actually really hurt over this. Should I be?
-Underappreciated
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Dear Underappreciated,
You have every right to be upset. It sounds like you’ve been a great girlfriend and he’s incredibly lucky to have you. Relationships are a give and take and it sounds like yours is currently out of balance. I would ask him to stop by or come see you. It’s better to do these things in person. Just be honest with your thoughts and feelings regardless of the outcome. If this is meant to be he will straighten up and be honest in return. If not then it might be time to move on. However, I think it’s better to know things up front rather than prolonging the inevitible.

Facebook & Marriage

Why do people (my husband) think its ok to flirt on Facebook and [then] erase messages from [his] wife?

anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

This is a tough subject because I personally have mixed emotions about Facebook. I think it is an excellent platform for businesses and marketing. As well as for personal use to keep in touch with friends and family and allows you to reconnect with the people of our past. However, many people hide behind a computer and use this tool negatively (bullying, illegal activities, adultery, journaling, etc) rather than in a positive manner. There is nothing wrong with someone flirting a little in my opinion however more so on the receiving end-knowing that others are interested in you makes you feel good about yourself. And as a wife myself when someone is interested in my husband I am flattered not threatened because I know that he is committed to our relationship. 
However, creating an illusion of someone who you are not is unhealthy. It sounds like your husband has become caught up in the world of internet make-believe. It also sounds like subconsciously he is starting to lose interest in your relationship. Many people do not realize that although it might just be text or some random website people do pay attention and there are people on the receiving end of what is written…or in your case deleted. If I were you I would suggest that you and he go to counseling to get to the root of the issue and to assist you with confronting this hurtful behavior.

* Do you think this is normal behaviour? Do you have another helpful suggestion for our reader? Please comment below.