Tag Archive: wife


My wife left me about 18 months ago and left me with our 8 year old son, she still sees him but only every other weekend. Last week she said shed like to talk as she still has things to say so we met at a pub for a drink, we talked small talk for an hour or so and then she sat quiet, I asked what was up and she said “I had so much to say” so I asked her to tell me this is when a few things poured out about how she is having trouble getting over me and she misses me but couldn’t go on like we were, she tried bringing up some stuff but I just said yes I wish hadn’t done that but its in the past she also said that maybe us meeting would help her get over me?
Now I have been ok for a while but this has done my head in so my question is why is she doing this? Is she trying to get me back or just make herself feel better?

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 Sometimes we need to allow time and perspective to really clear our minds and vision of what and who we really want in our lives. I am sure there are still feelings there for you both but you need to figure out if this is worth it to you. And she needs to figure out why she left in the first place. If you already know the answers to these questions and you are completely comfortable with moving forward then do so, but tread lightly. If you are unsure and is she then if you both really want to make it work I would suggest counseling. Sometimes stuff from our past builds up and spills over into our daily lives. I believe that if you both were open and willing you could be very successful in becoming happier and healthier people. And that might mean together and that might mean apart, but either way the ending is positive.
*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

What is wrong with a wife that marries a man that doesn’t want to work? In contrary, what is wrong with a woman that wants a man that can’t provide for his family, and she wants to be the provider?  Does it make her feel in control?  I have a sister like this, and she loves it that she’s a provider and that he does not provide for his family. One response is this: That’s fine if the wife is the breadwinner and makes the money. More power to her. But, it is only natural for a man to work and be a provider. It is instinct, just like it is for a woman to be a mother. If he can’t do that his self-esteem goes down, thus feeling less of a man. Anybody else have opinions?

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I do not believe there is anything wrong with a woman being the bread winner or supporting the family compared to a man. I think that the relationship and it’s dynamics are dependent upon the two people involved. If that is what works for them so be it. It’s their lives and their choice to how they work out the logistics. Many times people put to much weight into what is “natural instinct” yes we have them but at the same time each of us is different. If being at home and taking care of the household needs is his perogative then thats great. It’s a lot of work so it’s not like he wouldn’t truly be “working”. We all need a purpose in our lives and if that means working to provide or working to maintain the household whatever works is still a purpose and has a meaningful impact.
*If you have a question or would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmail.com

My wife and I have been together 3 years, married for one.  She has a 25 year old daughter who refuses to be responsible for herself. She holds a full-time job, but doesn’t make enough to support herself.  She now has a one year old of her own from a non-supportive, non-involved donor. My wife has been paying $500/month rent, cell phone and car insurance for the daughter, with no end in sight.  Her daughter recently got her license back from a DUI, ( $750 we paid to the Lawyer) but is facing two pending  cases of driving while her license was suspended. The daughter has recently taken two alcohol-infused weekends at the beach, which (the way I see it) we paid for.  Lawyer fees, court fees and fines… guess who will pay that? Stop the madness!   She will not cut her daughter’s support off, nor make her responsible for her own mistakes!   I have thought of Family or marriage counsel, but I feel my wife will just continue to support the daughter.   Any ideas?

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You need to sit down and discuss this with your wife. And I think it very wise of you both to seek counsel. There comes a point in our lives where we have to let our loved ones learn from their own mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. Unfortunately, this is tough love. What your wife is doing isn’t healthy for herself, your marriage nor for the future of your daughter and grand daughter. The main concern here should be the child (grandchild) who unfortunately is the innocent victim of these circumstances. Your wife needs counseling. She thinks that she is being loving and nuturing when in reality she is just making the situation worse. I would be honest with your feelings, she won’t like what she hears but ultimately it is the truth and the behavior needs to be corrected.

*If you have a question and would like to submit a topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@gmai.com

My wife won’t stop and it’s making me crazy? She won’t stop Complaining about my ex!
We’ll call my wife becky and call my ex Krissie

Here are the cliff notes:

Krissie and I broke up

I met Becky and we got married a couple weeks later

Krissie found out she pregnant and told me

my wife and mother said she was a liar just trying to get me back

Krissie came with an ultrasound and note from her doctor estimating conception

I was an idiot and denied my son which I’ll always regret because I missed out on his first years and will never get that back. I was afraid of ruining my marriage.

Everyone in my wife’s family kept telling her to demand a paternity test

We got one. Yeah he’s my kid. Krissie hated me for implying otherwise but forgave me for the sake of our son. she has allowed me to be part of his life, I see him almost everyday now, and she even decided not to sue for back child support since I am now providing financially & emotionally.

The problem is my wife hates my ex. It’s like she can’t stop herself from complaining about krissie. according to my brother krissie is a dream ex… he has 4 kids from 4 moms so I guess he knows

Krissie only calls me if it concerns our son (serious stuff, not “just to talk”)

Every time I go to pick him up he is clean and happy, and she doesn’t say bad things about me to him (he’s a kid who repeats what he hears , which is why Krissie won’t let becky be around him anymore because the first time she met him she called his mom a lot of bad things, and I agreed my wife doesn’t need to be in his life, when she’s acting that way)

She doesn’t sleep around so I don’t have to worry about creeps being around my kid and she’s just a great mom to him . I love my wife and I want our marriage to work but it’s becoming to much to handle. We argue everyday, she says I want Kris back, she says Kris wants me, and she implies that my son isn’t mine even though we had the tests and he looks exactly like me.

I just need to know how I can get her to understand that I just want to be a good father. I hate myself for denying him for so long. I never thought i’d be one of those dead beats. Sometime i want to cry thinking about all the things I missed.Ii don’t blame my wife because i am a grown man and made my own decisions, but I felt so much pressure from her and my mother, saying that there was no way she just found out about the pregnancy right after i got married. the truth is part of me knew the truth, I guess I was a coward so I don’t need people telling me what scum I am, because I already know, I just want to have a good life and be and good dad. what can I do to reassure my wife that the extent of my relationship with Kris is that we love our son and that’s it.

-Loving Father at Wits End
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Dear Loving Father,
 
You need to talk with your wife and be just as honest as you have been here. Tell her that you love her and never want to make her feel uncomfortable but you also love your son and have an obligation to be a good father to him. You need to ask her that she respect the mother of your child because the child had no control of being born into this family. It’s not fair nor healthy to the child to hear negative things about his/her own mother. It also makes it difficult for the child to want to bond with your current wife. I would also reccommend you tell your wife that it makes you uncomfortable and it hurts your feelings to see her act this way. If you cannot come to an agreement I would reccomend couples thearpy so you have an outside source who can help you through this. Keep on being a great dad- the child will be grateful later that you stepped up and are apart of his life now.
 
* If you have a question or topic please email me at honestgoodadvice@hotmail.com